Sigh. I can come up with all sorts of reasons, but of course, the basic reason is, I went away too much and I don't work enough when I'm here. But that's not so interesting, is it, so here's a story:
Two summers ago, I quit my job, such as it was. Twin Oakers are a slippery bunch, and most folks have several jobs, and no one has a "9 to 5." We work mostly in teams, which is fun. But sometimes it doesn't work, of course, and my team just went kaput in the summer of '07. I was the manager of the hammocks office, and my job description just got longer and longer and longer, and my team up and left for more pleasant atmospheres. The clincher was when four (if memory serves me) office workers quit in the same week. Not my fault (heh). They left the community. It was the summer of our discontent.
There was a huge controversy, surrounding the membership of a young person, and the waves of negativity grew and grew until they swamped the already leaky boat of the hammocks office, and boy howdy, I went down. My friend Mala said, "my friend Kristen is much more important than this job," and I cried and quit.
In a responsible as possible way, of course. I trained people to carry on, and got out of the chaos and left it to folks with more nerves of steel than I had.
But that left me with half as much work. I'd worked in that office since I moved here (I've lived here since '91), and didn't have much else going on. It's actually to my credit, and the wondrous labor system's credit, that it's taken a year and a half for me to run out of jobs. It's time, really, to find a new niche.
But how to do that when I'm 44? At a hippie commune where most of the work is physical, and most of the people are in their twenties? I feel a bit... hmmm... out of place. And I'm not the spring chicken I used to be, although I still can cluck and lay an egg every so often.
How big's my problem? Weeeel now. Funny you should ask. Um. Embarrassingly big. Um, I'm looking at a hole about 200 hours deep. Yowza. Not there yet, but I'm heading there. What you are witnessing now is the anxiety of a person falling out of an airplane who suddenly sees the ground rushing up.
Sooo... something'll happen. Wonder what it will be. Hence the blog -- if life is painful, take the pain and do something useful with it. At the very least, be entertaining, even if it's only to yourself.
much love,
Kelpie
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3 comments:
Nice to see another new blogger! I will send you an invitation to my blog! Sounds to me as if you are a good writer - any jobs available writing things there? I have always loved your writing on the SH list. I see you beautiful smiling face whenever I read your words and hear your lilting voice in song! I can hardly wait to sing together with you. I hope this "hole" does not swallow up your ability to come to camp!
BB,
Starflower*
Thanks! Wow, high praise! It's way too soon to be worried about camp -- I'm pretty sure I can solve the problem by then.
Dearest Kelpie:
A bunch of things might happen. for example if you are not interested in the more physical work of making hammocks, you could turn to the next generation of Outside Work, which will include thing like internet based language tutoring for French speakers interested in learning English. If you want to take on more bureaucratic/correspondent roles, Angie is looking to give the Child Board family correspondent role back to Brenda, who was quite uninterested in taking it.
We can find stuff for you my dear, i am confident.
Paxus in Heerlen
13 Obama 2K8
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