Kelpie Out Loud

Kind of a kicky kine

2009-08-17T10:52:00.002-04:00

Yup, that's Lilith. She smacked me good on two fingers on the right hand, when I was trying to get her off the inflation tubing. Whoops, she kicked, caught my hand, and the back of my hand caught a metal post. Swollen knuckles, and I feel lucky (albeit a bit stoopid). I yelled, and put the inflation back on her, and tried my best to figure out how to get milk out of a horse, I mean, cow. I made one dumb mistake after another, and ended by losing my temper, and telling her rather strongly what I thought of her, while I let her out of the barn.

That was yesterday morning, and I went back in yesterday evening with Debbie, one of the supermilkers of the universe, and she had similar problems, minus the dumb mistakes. And this morning, Rusty (one of the other supermilkers, and more) came down and showed me how to milk a horse, I mean cow. Holy spumoni. She's a two-person cow, it turns out.

She's wonderful, Lilith is. She's a big healthy Holstein, in her first milking. And hopefully she'll unlearn her fighting. Me, too. I hope to unlearn my fighting. Fortunately, Rusty and Debbie are good at teaching. I feel bad, because she'd been making progress, learning to settle in, and then I come in with been-away-at-camp brains, and boom, lose it. At least I knew I'd been doing something wrong -- I'd been tying the training rope incorrectly, and basically milking her sans rope.

Okeydokey artichokey, I'm sure Lilith will learn, and I hope she learns faster than I do!
much love,
Kelpie

Blueberries, conferences, buildings

2009-08-11T09:17:00.003-04:00

Another hot day, but at least better than yesterday. And Zadek, Biddy and I went blueberrying then, so now I've got a tubful of yummmmmm. It's making us pretty happy. Big ol' cold bloobs. We had them for breakfast.

Biddy's a new member, and she can sing just about anything, and when she does, you want to listen. She's got an amazing voice. Wow, that's very exciting.

And what else? The Communities Conference is starting on Friday, so there'll be many many people at the conf site, and there'll be a whole bunch of women at the conf site... um... the weekend after, I think. For the Women's Gathering. I don't go to that Gathering much anymore. My family can't go, 'cause they're all boys, basically. Oh well. Then in October, there's a new gathering, of permaculture folks starting to build a strawbale shelter. I've been in strawbale shelters, but haven't watched them go up. It'll be interesting.

Years ago, I helped stuff leaves into walls, to make a wonderful house bigger and better. That was really fun, and a lot of work. Took a lot of chicken wire fencing, and some two-by-fours. The structure's still up and looking good!!

Okey dokey artichokeys, looks like I'm off to the races. Hope my pony wins. So far, I'm feeling pretty lucky.
much love,
Kelpie

Sup

2009-08-08T06:53:00.002-04:00

Ok, Mom, I'm writing, I'm writing. Look at me writing!!

Knowing now what it is to be a mother, I have more sympathy, of course. Empathy, even. Yup. AND I got an email from Rowan last night, that asked me "sup" and told me that he loved me. I'm not bragging or anything. It's true. And "sup," for those of you who don't know, is short for "what is up?"

I'm home from camp. I was gone for about a very long time (decades, at least), and am ticked pink to be back. I found a new ability to shine, which is the whole point of going to camp. My family's pretty happy to have me home again, also. And I went to the ZK dance floor last night and danced and danced, so I really feel home again.

What will next year's camp bring, I wonder? I'd like to bring Rowan, or Arlo, but neither can go until they're 18. Maybe 16 (if I pull some strings). I'd like to bring Keenan, but then who stays with Arlo and Rowan? At least I have Wild Child for Rowan to attend with me.
okey dokey artichokeys,
much love,
Kelpie

If it's not the heat,

2009-06-12T06:48:00.002-04:00

It's the humidity. And right now I can see it on the inside of the windows as Ez makes noodles. I can see the tomato plants out the window, and they're looking good! No ripe ones, yet. That won't be for a while. Our blueberries aren't ripe yet, either. Looks like that will be in a couple of weeks. And none of the shiny little beetles that drive me bonkers -- that will be in early July, I think. Hopefully they won't eat too much.

I've caught four field mice in four days. Cute little buggers. In live traps! And each one is named, and then let go, far far away. Today's mouse, "Mothra," got little dark blue dots on its tail, thanks to Keenan, who believes that we're catching the same mouse each day. I know Bartimaus Catslayer, day 2 mouse, hasn't returned -- that one had a ripped up ear. Could be Bart's somewhere around, we may never know....

Okey dokey artichokey. How many more mice can I catch?

Hot and muggy

2009-06-09T11:08:00.002-04:00

So, it's June, and I'd like to take some pictures, but I'm not sure how to get the pictures from my very nice new camera that my father sent me into the various forms needed for whatever thing I want to do with it. If that sentence didn't make much sense, it's because I was raised in the age of FILM. That's different than the age of DIGITAL, whatever that means. No, I have no anti-computer bias whatsoever. Why did you think that? No doubt if I understood all these doohickies and and whatnot, I'd be much better at sending pictures to my relatives, who are longing to see pictures of their grandchildren. Arrgh. Or their own children. Anyway.

It may be time for more coffee. I can put coffee in a mug, and I just need to decide if I want it hot or cold. But I may want a hot and muggy coffee, to go along with the day.

much love,
Kelpie

Green. old friend, Lawrence

2009-06-02T08:04:00.001-04:00

Seems like summer's in full bloom now, and it's been great on the commune. Lots of flowers and green, and the steam table has been full of truly amazing freshness. The sugar snap peas are my favorite. They're green, so I think I'm getting nutrition, and they're sweet and crunchy, which is what I really want.

My ol' buddy Steve came to visit yesterday with his wife, and we walked around the farm for a few hours, catching up and touring. Our conversation made me miss Lawrence, but more miss the Lawrence of my misspent youth. I feel so lucky to have grown up in such a progressive town, and very grateful for the educational opportunities handed to me on a plate. Now when I go back, I see a lot of economic boom, which in some respects seems a bit empty to me -- I understand there's a second Wal-Mart now, and that's discouraging. But in many more ways, Lawrence is fundamentally solid in its values, with green growing things all around, and people working together to make it a peaceful place of learning and art. I miss that.

Don't get me wrong -- Twin Oaks is chockful of growing and art. Sometimes though, it's just a bit... hmm.... constricting. I'm laughing at myself, because I remember a time when I thought Lawrence too constricting. In the ways that really matter, Twin Oaks and Lawrence are more similar than different. For example, growing up, I thought every town had a coop grocery store -- it just makes sense. Now of course, I realize what a treasure the Merc is. People just need to have control over their food source, over what actually goes in their actual mouths. And unfortunately, in this day and age, most folks are limited in their choices. Don't get me started.

okey dokey artichokey,
much love,
Kelpie

Rainy day, finally!! And, Kapowie!

2009-05-03T13:34:00.003-04:00

Hurray! The rain is falling and the plants are happy. Most of the people seem happy, and the cows, too, seemed mostly happy. It's good to have a lot of water falling from the sky, as a gift to our sun-soaked soil, this time of year. It's a time of abundance and plenty, and mostly we seem pretty busy taking care of plants to eat later... and it's definitely the best time of the year to eat. We're eating well now, and there's the joy of anticipation, too. Our spinach is still yummy, and there's asparagus, yum, and soon... strawberries!!!

It's a good time specifically to look on the bright side, because we did have a not-so-wonderful event a few days ago. Our tobacco barn... blew up! Yes! It was not filled with tobacco -- Oakers have long since given up that endeavor. Nope. It was filled with... no, not explosives, of any kind... it was filled with... no, not anything particularly flammable... it was filled with WATER. Yup, and it burned to the ground pretty fast. The water was held in a gigantic pressurized (somehow) plastic tank. I don't really understand it, but I'll try to explain.

Back in '02, we put in a new well, and a tank to hold water, aboveground. The well's fine. We put the tank in the old tobacco barn, where it shared space with some stuff, and cow slaughtering equipment, and also chick incubator equipment. Somehow, a small fire was started, and then spotted around 6am, and while folks were gathering to put it out, kapowie! And a peice of the tank blew over the trees. No one was hurt.

So, we're using our old well. So far, so good. We'll see what happens....
much love,
Kelpie

Party, poles, and water

2009-04-04T07:12:00.002-04:00

Happy happy joy joy. I went to a most excellent party last night at Tupelo, with live music! Charlie's Steel Errection played, and I played tambourine (duh). It was pretty fun. It was a party to celebrate the erection of a new Oz, for Emerald City. Our last Oz burned down last June, and we (finally) got a steel building and had it erected by... yes, Charlie's Steel Erection. Or maybe it's Joe's? Can't remember. Anyway, it's an insulated shell on a pad. A lot of people worked very hard to make it happen. The band did not put up the building... a local biz did that.

Tupelo parties typically are a lot of fun. Trout put up the decorations and wow, that was really amazing! We danced under a spiderweb of white rope held up by a salvaged light pole. The light poles used to be on the downtown mall in C-ville and were salvaged years ago. It's good to see one of them put to use -- we don't have much call for light poles here at TO, and they've been lying out in the woods for a while.

Spring is springing up all over. The grass suddenly turned green, the cows are giving a lot of milk, with that delicate scent of onion grass, and we're gearing up for Rowan's b-day. THAT's going to be next weekend, with a big waterfight in the backyard. There's been a little bit of testing already, and I can tell we'll have to give a safety lecture about the squirt that comes out of these things...

Okey dokey artichokey,
Kelpie

Monetize??? WTF? Cows and weather

2009-04-02T08:24:00.003-04:00

Well, it seems I can add my own ads to this blog. How exciting. It's "monotizing." That's different than "monopolizing," although they somewhat sound the same. Okey dokey. I don't think I'll do that. Sounds to monotonous. Now where's my spellcheck when I need it? Ah well. C'est la vie.

It's another beautiful day, this one is rainy and cloud-covered and I'll need to wash the cows' teats off thoroughly this evening, because they'll lie down and get muddy. Darn cows. Darn flies, more like it. It's also the beginning of fly season, and they can really hurt a cow, and bother me.

Y'all will be happy to hear that we seem to have lost the field mouse problem. The weather's sufficiently warmed up enough that they can go outside and find things to eat, hurray! We did have one trap mishap. The trap lost a mouse and a piece of wire when it was dropped, oopsie, on the road. Again, c'est la vie.

Sometime maybe I'll attempt to write a whole blog in French, wouldn't that be a project? C'est la vie, c'est la guerre. C'est moins interessant sans le doohicky pour les accents. C'a m'est egal. Tant pis. Now you have to imagine me shrugging my shoulders and saying, "Bof, sais pas, moi." Or something like that.

Anyhoo. It's another loverly day, and there's many a thing to do in it. I gotta go make a list.
much love,
Kelpie

Spring, labor credits, and ??

2009-03-31T14:18:00.002-04:00

Beautiful day, lots of blue sky and the trees are not leafed out much. It's really pretty out, and there's flowers blooming, and somewhere in the distance I can hear some kind of engine -- is it a tractor?

I'm sort of trying to find labor credits until my assigned work at 4:30pm, which is a fabric bed date with... someone. Gosh. I wonder what sort of fabric beds, and what sort of thing will be going on there at that time. I've been learning how to sew... again. Very long seams, most are ones that show.

Ezra's in the kitchen with Zadek and Nana Anna, and maybe I'll get to do something... hmmm... like clean the bathroom or get pics put online. Which?

Anyway, that's the sort of day it is. Why are y'all inside reading this? Everyone should be outside glorying in the day -- the sun is shining and there are a million birds out there waiting to be discovered.
much love,
Kelpie

Headache, crowding, springtime

2009-03-21T17:36:00.002-04:00

I slept the afternoon away, escaping from a migraine. It's the only way I know how to do it, unfortunately. Take a lot of pain killers and curl up in bed. I've missed our ceremony for the first day of spring, but at least I'm no longer in pain.

Our house in crowded!! In a good way. Many friends and relatives are coming to see the new baby and stay awhile. I love it, but my animal nature does feel it. I've been having dreams of overcrowding for the past week, and woke up last night after getting separated from Keenan and Rowan on an overcrowded boat that was sinking. Two-story inflated boats are just a bad idea, and I'll have to speak to the dream fairies about it. I got up to get a drink of water and clear my head, and found Ezra's brother sleeping on the couch! Luckily I didn't wake him up.

It's good that warm weather's coming. The cows already have green grass to eat, which is a couple of weeks early. They're happy. There are flowers of all sorts just bursting out all over, and it's only the beginning. Truly marvelous! And spring peepers are out full force, as well as a couple of other kinds of frogs. Rowan's birthday is coming up, he'll be 13 on April 11, and he wants a water fight in the backyard, so it's time to find your watergun. Cake and ice cream will be provided, of course.

Okey dokey artichokey! That about wraps it up for today!
much love,
Kelpie

Baby, music, labor hole woes

2009-03-20T08:37:00.002-04:00

Wow, it's been a while!! Sorry about that! Eep!

Sooo... catching up... well, the biggest news of course is that we have a baby in the house again. Samir Ghoshal Freeman, born about 7:30pm on St. Patrick's Day (also his father's birthday), to Mala and Ezra, and three year old Zadek is now officially an older brother. Mother and baby are healthy and happy. Samir was born at home, as most Twin Oaks babies are, and chose to come into the world in the middle of a traditional Irish music concert. They weren't actually at the concert, of course, and Ezra's upright bass was missed. Ez showed up at the end, to play a song we'd saved for last, hoping he'd make it. A rousing rendition of "The Rocky Road to Dublin," followed his joyful announcement of his son's birth. He was out of breath, having run all the way to Tupelo, where the concert was.

I had a great time at the concert, having wormed my way into playing the tambourine! Trout, the very talented musician who put the thing together, is as sweet as can be, and graciously let me bang happily away. Sometimes I wonder if people really want a tambourine... I tried to play with taste and discretion. But there's no better seat in the house than behind a tambourine, and I was especially blown away by Kassia's fiddle playing -- WOW is all I have to say. WOWW wow wow wow. She and Trout on guitar rocked Tupelo. And Keith played a modified ashiko (made by my buddy RJ!), and kept me in line. (Thank goodness). And a fellow Kassia brought from C-ville, Tommy, who we kept wanting to call Commie, played mandolin, and something called a "hoodoo." A hoodoo looks a bit like it should have wine in it... it's a kind of percussion instrument that Wikipedia doesn't know about yet, and defies easy description, so I'll pass.

In other news, I signed a labor contract, and missed my first month's quota by one lousy labor credit. So shoot me. Or sue me. Or whatever. I was sick, and not allowed to make overquota. Caught in a catch-22 by the labor system, whatever. I'm a bit bitter about it, because it means I cannot take part in Wild Child in May, the 3-day family camp. Grrr. But whatever. Live and learn, eh? There have to be some sort of consequences to being a slacker, and not getting to go to fun stuff is one of them. It's too bad in several different ways, because I was going to hang with the little kids in the mornings, and now the (very patient) organizers must scramble to find a replacement. I really dislike making problems for other people, and it's another lesson for me about how my irresponsibility affects others. Ah well. Life will be different once I'm out of the labor hole, which should be in June.

Okey dokey artichokey! I won't let so much time go by again! Hopefully I won't get as sick again!
much love,
Kelpie

Cold, Drums, and Drama

2009-02-25T09:51:00.002-05:00

I was going to work in Richmond today, housecleaning for a friend, but woke up with my cold settling in my throat and chest. Arrrgh. So it's a sick day for Kelpie, with lots of hot fluids and rest. I'm hoping to get some laundry done too, and repair work on my wardrobe. I may venture out to find myself another pair of pants in Commie Clothes. The ones I'm wearing have defied my patching ability.

We had a good time drumming and dancing yesterday evening in ZK after dinner. Drumgasm has been a wandering gypsy experience for a while, but maybe ZK will be our wintertime home. We seem to get more participation when we're there, just because, well, there we are. And we don't have to monopolize someone's living room that way. Degania may evolve into a happy Drumgasm place, but it didn't work for us the last time we were there... When we're finally Utopia, of course, we'll have a round yurt that's always the perfect temperature, and there'll be all sorts of treats available, too, for the taking.

In other news, the farm's drama continues, with soon-to-be-ex-member Woody as our focus. I'm very grateful to not be in the hoopla of it all, and have merely been asked my opinion (along with all Twin Oakers) if Woody should have a feedback only, or a feedback on the road to expulsion. He's planning on leaving soon, so the difference is mainly symbolic, but significant (as most symbols are). He would lose the right of return, as well as some allowance money, since he has a vacation balance, if he is expelled. It'll be interesting to see what happens. In many ways, his case is similar to Kodiak's, from the early 90's.

Okey dokey artichokey,
much love,
Kelpie

More mice and Andromeda

2009-02-22T21:58:00.005-05:00

So, I wrote a note to Grayson, our House Manager, and told him our kitchen was infested with mice, and he said, buy a live trap, so I asked the Louisa tripper to get one, at Southern States, and Elsa brought back a Havahart. Mouse-sized. Also vole and shrew sized, according to the directions, which were given in English, Spanish, and French. The French word for shrew is a long word (which I can't remember now), that starts out with "mus," which is Latin for "mouse." So I'm guessing the rest of the very long French word means something like, "really tiny mouse, but not really a mouse, really." I'm too lazy to look it up; the word itself, or its origin.

So, we set the trap -- or rather, Keenan set it (not because he read the directions), and the next day, we had a mouse. I took it down to the dairy barn and let it go out in the yard. I took the trap home, and Keenan set it again (he's good at it) and the next day, we had a mouse. I took this one down to the river field and shook it out of the trap near a rotting log. It was a peaceful sort of day, and the mouse gathered its wits and soon disappeared down a hole that may have been occupied. I hope it and the barn mouse have long and happy lives far from Beechside kitchen.

So, I took the trap home, and set it myself, and today there is no mouse. First day of no mouse for several days, actually. I'd caught five total with the snap traps, two of which were, um, mice which may be three-legged at this point, or may be part of someone's digestive system. I sincerely hope that there are no more mice, or that the mice have decided to move to less dangerous neighborhoods (the Bijou kitchen?). The peanut butter in the trap hasn't been nibbled, otherwise I'd wonder if I set the trap right... I didn't read the directions either.

So, in other news, we ate Andromeda today, or parts thereof. She was a great milk cow, giving to the last, and still giving. It's a unique experience for an American, and I'm very honored and lucky to be able to eat the cow that gave the milk that nourished me, my family, and my community for many years (seven?). I think perhaps my grandparents could have had such an experience, but I sorta doubt it. It's more possible that my great-grandparents did. So long, Andromeda. You've taught me more about the cycle of life than any other non-human animal, and I'm grateful for you.

Office shift and blue sky

2009-02-19T09:45:00.002-05:00

It's a lovely day outside, with a warm breeze and a beautiful sky. I'd think it were spring, and in some ways, it is. A week or so ago, we had some crocuses blooming -- purple ones, which I saw, and some snowdrops, which I didn't. Everyone seems to be happy and mostly healthy, and I realize once again how my moods change with the weather.

I'm on an office shift, which means I'm the community's receptionist for three hours. Fortunately I know enough to be as helpful as possible without getting too stressed out. I answer the phone (which omigosh has an annoying ring, why can't we change that thing?), and I do cash transactions, so in some sense, I'm also a clerk. Mostly I love jobs like this -- I've always liked playing with money, and everyone who walks into the office is a friend. I remember with fondness my job as a barrista at the kosher bakery in Minneapolis. The glory of Twin Oaks, of course, is that shift work doesn't become onerous. There's a list of oh, 10? people who do office shifts. Yup, and there's chaos, of course. A different sort than the chaos which happens when you're stuck in a job.

After lunch, I'm cleaning the barn. I'm looking forward to some scrubbing!
much love,
Kelpie

Mourning and Looking Forward

2009-02-17T07:56:00.003-05:00

I had a good talk with Shakti last night. She's talked to me about the tree destruction, and said she offers tobacco to the tree spirits (she considers herself a "white Indian"), and said tobacco's offered because there's not any in the spirit world. I'm not a tobacco person; my heritage offering would probably be whiskey. I could get some, or I could sing and drum, which tends to be more my style, or my path (sez Shakti). That would be better than going through the emotional ups and downs I've been experiencing, along with the grouchiness.

I'm very lucky also to live with understanding people who've given me a hug when I've needed it. One friend told me, well, at least Twin Oaks doesn't cut down all the trees, like some of the clearcuts we drive by in Louisa County. She said she didn't think Twin Oaks is an eco-village, either, though, since we're still on the grid. I guess we're more "eco" compared to some. My personal definition of "eco" includes a friendliness and companionship with trees and the community of plants and animals that they support.

On a different and related note: I sent in my registration for Witchcamp yesterday, and am looking forward to going to Four Quarters Camp in PA. I've never been there, but I've heard a lot about it. It sounds good on paper, and online, but I've learned about advertising and propaganda (Twin Oaks says it's an eco-village, for example). Still, I'm excited. The theme is Brigid, the triple-goddess of the British Isles. (Can you see her name in the title of those lands?)
I gotta learn some songs...

okey dokey artichokey,
much love,
Kelpie

Bitter Kelpie

2009-02-15T15:53:00.004-05:00

Today, the forestry crew continues its task of cutting trees down. They usually do this far from the residences, and the wood is cut and stacked for firewood. We have enormous stacks of firewood by our residences, enough to last us several years. These trees are not coming down for firewood, they're coming down, goes the reasoning, (put forth on the land use proposal posted by a Morningstar resident and approved by the Land Planner, after input was gathered for 10 days), so that "mold won't grow in Degania and Morningstar. There's been about 10 trees downed so far, and another dozen or so are doomed, with ropes around them, between Morningstar and Kaweah, and behind Degania.

We've been discussing "solar clearings" for years, here at Twin Oaks, and this one, in addition to killing mold, it is said, will let more sunlight hit the roof of Morningstar, where maybe someday there'll be solar panels of some sort up there, doing something groovy and money saving, for the people of Morningstar and Twin Oaks.

Not up for discussion is all the homes destroyed by tree cutting. I'm wondering how many birds, and what kinds of birds, are being displaced, for one. And it's strange to me that everyone seems to believe that cutting these trees down will reduce mold growth. I believe they're in for an unpleasant surprise. The buildings are old, and never have been air conditioned (although there are a couple of dehumidifiers running constantly, now, for the past year or so). The arguement has been that children need to live in buildings that are not moldy, for their health. Cutting down trees seems to be more politically acceptable than air conditioning. Hmm. Now Morningstar and Degania have a lot of stumps and tractor ruts around them.

Oh well, I tell myself. We killed a lot of trees and remade the local world when we built the pond. But I'm still angry at the sound of chainsaws and the sight of stumps. Have you ever had a lot of trees cut down by your house against your will? I feel bitterness creeping upon me. Phrases like, "how can this be an eco-village?" are running around in my head. "What on earth were these people thinking?" and mostly, "why didn't I oppose it when I had a chance? When was that chance? I seem to have missed it."

Oh well. Keenan tells me that blueberries and peach trees will be planted there, and I hear the stumps will be inoculated with mushroom spore so they rot faster. WTF. I'm so angry I could spit. Ok, I gotta go milk some cattle now. And, you know, we kill them, too. It's part of life, I guess, if you're an Oaker.

Mice and Communards

2009-02-13T07:41:00.002-05:00

Lovely day, with squirrels and birds and mice. I've seen our mouse, or its friend, several times now running across our counter. Maybe we need a pet blacksnake.

Yesterday we went to Acorn for Kassia and Sky's slideshow of their European communities tour. I hadn't been to Acorn in a while, not since we were having trouble with troubled teens, a couple of summers ago. Twin Oaks is such a lively place, it can swallow us up!

The slideshow was fun, and they have a website too, to help disseminate their info: http://sites.google.com/site/eurocommune/

Okey dokey artichokey, time to get dressed and go sign Validation cards. I've only 30 to go....

much love,
Kelpie

Cats and Mice

2009-02-11T07:09:00.004-05:00

There's a mouse in our kitchen, right behind the dish drainer. I don't mind mice, really, but I don't like their poop on the counter. I don't think they should be in the house. We don't allow animals other than our selves in the house. Oh, Valerie's cat can go in her room and the airlock, but that's on the far side of the building. That cat might be able to catch this mouse, if circumstances were right.

I'm pretty happy these days with my own circumstances. The weather's been warm, the food's been good, my boys are happy and healthy and I'm getting out of the labor hole pretty easily. Soon we'll have Validation Day, and I've been busy signing cards. Last night, someone in my dreams was telling me I wasn't writing enough specifics in them. I'm at least indicating positive feelings, though.

I've found that I must sometimes consciously maintain positive feelings towards certain people and circumstances, otherwise the negative will collect in a pile and bury me. I hate that when that happens, ack! So, I've started labeling complaining, as in "can I complain?" when I'm talking out loud, or watching when I'm feeling complainy. It works pretty well, because there's usually something I can do to remedy the situation, or at least fantasize about remedying it.

Can I complain about the mouse? I'm feeling less positive towards this mouse and its family. Its presence is an insult to our housekeeping. I could get over it by thinking happy thoughts about how cute it is (it's not), or I can ask Keenan to set a trap. I tried to set it yesterday and nearly snapped off my finger, so it's time to ask for help.

How can I be setting traps in a "non-violent community" you might be thinking. Come here to my house, then, and catch this mouse. Or think back on what you do with mice in your house. Or mosquitos. Or flies. Or spiders. Or, if you're not into killing things, then think back on who does the killing in your house and how it's done. Personally, I wish we had a mousecatching cat.

okey dokey artichokey,
Kelpie

Breakfast and CMT

2009-02-10T08:46:00.003-05:00

Happy dreams! Mala and Ezra and Zadek come down and have coffee every morning, and sometimes we talk about our dreams. Mala says she had a great dream with food and coffee and a library and New College. Ezra's discovered the comic books of Bone, which Rowan had checked out from the library (again). We've been Bone fans for a while, now. Libraries are great. I think I could live in one and be quite happy, as long as I was given food.

What did I do yesterday? I worked a lot, but didn't milk cows, and so got to wear pretty clothes! I spent the day in meetings; first, an interview with a visitor, and then a membership team meeting (Community Membership Team). I've been on the membership team for years, and it's my third stint. I do sometimes wonder if it's time to get off the team, but mostly it's ok. I don't like it so much when we forget little details. There are six of us, and we've all got busy lives, and I have ideas about what we should be doing, but then oops, the laundry the boys the cows, and I lose focus. The team's pretty lively, too, and of course we've all got our own ideas about how things should go. Fortunately, we don't mess up very often. And we're not entrenched (well, maybe I'm entrenched) and there's lots of turnover on the team. But we do have a dizzying array of policies to follow which we have to interpret. Fortunately, they're not written by me!!

Okey dokey artichokey, time to go sign Validation Day cards!!
much love,
Kelpie

Pump and Poop

2009-02-09T06:09:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was a gloriously warm day. I had a lot of work scheduled, with a break in the middle. Fortunately, when I'm milking, I'm in and out of the barn, so I was able to be in the sun for bits of time. The morning milking went very well. That's different than the day before, when the milking went just "well." The pump had gone out again, and we had to hand milk. I don't mind hand milking, but I was the one who discovered that the vacuum pump wasn't sucking, and that sucked. We finally called the Surge tech (and I'll do that first thing instead of last, next time), and found that a tiny piece of ice was keeping the pump from creating a seal. There's a pvc tube with a rubber flap on it that lets water trickle out when the pump's not going, and has to close and seal when the pump's on. Though it was warm outside the day before yesterday, it wasn't warm enough for the pump on the north side of the building, and the trickle condensation made ice, a teeny weeny bit. Easy to fix, once you know what to look for.

So I milked again in the morning yesterday and was happy, and then ate a lovely brunch with Rowan at the diner at Tupelo, did some sewing on fabric beds in the afternoon, (with less success), and then another milking in the afternoon. The whole time I was sewing, I felt a pull to the barn, and quit early to find that there had been no barn clean, and so did most of it myself, and then milked. That went mostly well, but good ol' Beru had to let loose with a splatter poop of the worst kind, in the barn. Yuck-ola. Fortunately none got in the milk (it got on me, instead).

Okey dokey artichokey, that's cows!
Kelpie

Day In the Barn

2009-02-05T08:18:00.002-05:00

I spent practically the whole day in the barn yesterday. Ok, not the whole entire day. I left to eat and say hi to my kids and greet the new family that's going to move to TO... someday. I milked the cows in the morning, cleaned the barn, and then milked the cows in the late afternoon, and made it to dinner, and what did I do after dinner? I watched a movie with Rowan and Keenan, called "Stranger Than Fiction." It was ok, although I found it a bit shallow. Lots of timeless themes and whatnot, but no character I really could connect to. Oh well, it was good to veg on the couch after a day of lifting and hauling. "Barn clean" includes finding enough cans and making sure they're all washed for the next two milkings. There's a lot of milk these days, with four cows fairly recently freshened.

Our new family's from Kansas, and they aren't really ours yet, they're Little Flower's, the Catholic Worker Farm a few miles away. It's a very long involved process for a family to join TO, and I'm guessing that from the family's point of view, it's a two year process from idea conception to settling in to TO with the rooms you like. Our family's got a mom and dad and a sweet baby, and I hope they like Little Flower and vice versa. I'm sure everything'll work out one way or another. Holy spumoni. ("Spumoni" is a flavor of ice cream -- it's one of the striped kinds, with nuts, yum).

Okey dokey artichokey, I need to go make some labor credits.
much love,
Kelpie

Ponzi and Fire

2009-02-02T19:52:00.003-05:00

Mom asked me on the phone, "hey! What's the calf's name?" Ok, the calf's name is Ponzi. We'll never forget what year he was conceived and born in! I do feel sorry for all those folks who lost money in the latest Ponzi scheme... hope they all get enough to eat and adequate housing. I could say more about it, but then I couldn't write about the fire.

Yup, another fire. And waaaay too many firetrucks, but of course, you never know. We're very grateful that the fire dept. gets here quickly. This fire started in the carcass pit, and we've been doing a lot of slaughtering lately -- oops, guess I should've given the Gruesome warning. Too late. Anyway, the pit's right to the right of the hay barn, and we were all worried about that catching fire, which it could've done if the wind were coming from the right direction. Fortunately all that was burned or damaged was about 2 dozen bales of mulch hay, and Casey, Rusty says, will be able to tell us more about hay needs later in the year.

I managed to help out a bit -- just enough to get in the way. I drove a car around the block with Rusty to find Casey on the tractor, which we did. We also found a lost pumper truck, looking for 138 Vigor Rd. Oops. That address does not exist. Well, I managed to put the car between that truck and two others, with Casey behind the pumper with the tractor pulling the auger. Did I mention the auger? It's a big thing for getting beans out of a silo. It was pulled by the tractor. And the poor fellow doing the traffic directing was bamboozled, so I jumped out of the car and let Rusty drive, and walked to my meeting, and made it there on time. Ez and Bucket didn't -- they were helping with the fire.

Okey dokey artichokey. I'm glad we live where there's not a water shortage and it's going to rain maybe soon,
love,
Kelpie

Groundhog Day???

2009-02-01T11:03:00.002-05:00

Today's Feb. 1!! Happy Feb, everyone. According to my calendar, tomorrow is Groundhog Day, Candlemas, Imbolc, Brigid, ... and a lot of other things I haven't found out yet. I like groundhogs, although I've watched them roll cantaloupes down the road so that they can take them home to their babies. Candlemas... well, I'm not Catholic, but I do understand the need to consecrate candles. Imbolc is something I start to understand, but I call the holiday Brigid, myself.

We had a good ritual last night, here in Chesterfield, south of Richmond. It's traditional to make a pledge on Brigid, so I did. I'm getting better at making pledges that won't tie me down too much. My pledge was, "more music!" and I let go of fear. These are ongoing projects of mine, so they won't be too hard to remember. I used to make pledges like, "I'll clean my room!" but it's harder to keep that one. My room is full of clutter, and it's all mine... where does it REALLY go? The real question is: How can I get a room that doesn't hide my things when I need them? There's a few lost treasures in there... and I'm glad I know where my musical instruments are. Mostly.

I'll be home this evening, after another ritual (I seem to be a ritual junkie). It'll be good to be home, and I'm glad I'm here, too. Looks like the weather'll hold for awhile. I haven't seen a groundhog all day, nor a cantaloupe.

much love,
Kelpie

'80's Dance Party!

2009-01-30T07:50:00.004-05:00

Yesterday there was an 80's party at Tupelo. When I was in grade school, we used to have 50's parties. Everyone would dress up and we'd listen to music and maybe dance, if we were allowed and were brave and the desks weren't in the way. The party at Tupelo was pretty different from those parties. Half remembered dancing to 80's music in the '80's, and the other half were born in the 80's.

I went in a dress that I actually wore then, with my hair in a ponytail on the side. Other people mostly wore clothes you'd see on aerobics instructors. I very much liked the swirl of my dress, and tried to swirl and twirl as much as possible without falling down. Other folks fell down and became break dancers and that was fun to watch, too. About the only music I didn't dance to was the Beastie Boys. I just never got into the Beastie Boys, although I can see why folks would. One fella really was going with it.

It was a rockin' party, and I wish everyone reading this could've been there. No one got hurt, no one threw up, everyone looked like they were having fun, and if they weren't, they had someone to talk to about it. There was a guy in the kitchen being encyclopedic about bands and dates, which is always helpful. I tried to listen to him as much as I could, given the volume and the lure of the dance floor. He says he'll DJ a 60's dance party -- I'm looking forward to that.

okey dokey artichokey,
Kelpie

Calf and Legos

2009-01-28T07:41:00.002-05:00

The new calf was born, and is about half a week old, and darned cute. He didn't know how to suck (I'm sure he's gotten it by now), and looked ridiculous with his large tongue hanging out, gulping milk from the bottle. He was born after the all-day dairy day (say that 5 times fast), the warm day of hand milking when the pump broke, in the late evening. Debbie told me they couldn't find the calf in the dark -- Willamette had gone against the fence and dropped her calf (he doesn't have a name yet) on the other side of the fence. There's a slope there, too. Apparantly he got up and walked off. He's a strong little bugger. He needs a name that begins with a "P," and is a villain or superhero. "Pluto" is one suggestion. Hopefully someday, if we're lucky and he isn't, we'll eat him. I kind of like the idea of eating Pluto... (it's a planet, not an asteroid. I don't care if I'm wrong).

Speaking of cute young things, I hear the patter of small feet upstairs. Zadek, our three and a half year old. I hope he comes downstairs soon, and, yup, there he is!! He likes the lego tower on wheels with the propeller on top that's on the table, and we're both wondering what it is. He would like it to be able to fly. His poppa made it.

okey dokey artichokey,
much love,
Kelpie

Pump broke

2009-01-24T09:23:00.002-05:00

It wasn't 'cause the vandal took the handle, for you Bob Dylan fans. It was some kind of roter in the motor.

What it meant was that about half a dozen or so of us human beings had to milk by hand the half a dozen or so cows, each with three or four teats and 20-30 pints of milk per udder. I'll let you do the math. What it meant to me was good company, a common goal, and sore muscles. So, yes, I had fun, and yes, I'm glad the pump is fixed now.

I was surprised at how strong my right hand is, compared with my left. I am right-handed, so that makes sense. I also play the tambourine, and hold it with my left hand while I drum with my right, and I use the same muscle groups drumming as I do milking. I'm not going to milk or drum today -- even typing is somewhat of an ordeal, I'm that sore.

I rewarded myself with a treat -- I watched the mid-70's movie, "Network." I really liked it. I'd heard it was good, and it was! And, although I'm not currently outwardly mad as hell and can't take it anymore, I can certainly work up that feeling without much effort. I like to think that milking cows and living on a commune is a good way for me to deal with my anger about bullshit. I certainly am living a real life, and I certainly know what it's like to live an inauthentic one. What a good movie -- funny and true. My favorite kind.

okeydokey artichokey,
much love,
Kelpie

Cows and hoses

2009-01-22T11:26:00.003-05:00

So, anyone who'se taken care of animals knows that you must have a steady supply of fresh water. And cows drink a LOT of water, especially the pregnant and lactating ones. So, when the long hose was frozen this morning, I knew I was in for a long morning. Rusty had hooked up a series of hoses for the two pastures where the pregnant and the milk cows are kept, after the hydrant out there froze. It's still frozen, if you were wondering. I actually wonder when it's going to thaw.

I milked last night, and filled the tanks and drained the hoses. Or, I thought I drained the hoses. But no, they were full of ice this morning. So I took them in the barn to thaw, and in moving them, two broke. Arrgh. So I spent a good chunk of time unattaching and reattaching hoses, and trying to thaw out the ice dams, and got good and wet (did I mention it's cold?), and finally succeeded in getting water in both tanks, hurray! And I feel that my character has grown and is strengthened. There's nothing like a little wrestling with obstinate inanimate objects to strengthen your character, I've found.

And that on top of getting up at 2am to make sure our pregnant cow wasn't calving. She wasn't. She wasn't this morning at 6am, either, and it may be that she won't for a while...

Okey dokey,
much love,
Kelpie

Insulation installation

2009-01-21T09:11:00.002-05:00

Wow, today I'm dealing with upper respiratory problems, due to 71/2 hours of installing cotton insulation yesterday. I looked online at cotton insulation advertisements. They actually say that you don't need any safety equipment for installation. That's just not true -- cotton batting is much much better than fiberglass, for oh so many reasons, but you still want dust masks and goggles. The cotton dust is hard to take, and it just goes everywhere. I'm glad I only had one day of it. As it is, my eyes are still burning, and my lungs are still working at expelling. I can't imagine going back and doing it day after day, but I'm sure there are people who do.

I went with three other Oakers to a small house outside of Afton to install the batting. It was fairly easy to install, and compared to fiberglass, well, there's just no comparison! If I'd spent all day yesterday installing fiberglass insulation, I'd have all sorts of skin prickle problems. Blech.

We got home finally at 7:30pm, too late for dinner, and half an hour before Drumgasm, which Keith and I had to cancel, as we were both too tired. He had been one of the Oakers who worked on the insulation.

The good thing is that Keenan and Rowan and Elijah had a great time at the Inauguration. They had no difficulties with traffic or crowds whatsoever, and came home safely, also exhausted. I'm glad they went, it's a lifetime opportunity. Arlo chose to stay at home.

It's still cold, and a heating pipe burst in Morningstar, so that whole building has no heat, and won't, while the pipes are being repaired. There's been several pipes bursting from the unusual cold spell, with water messes to clean up. I'm glad my house hasn't experienced that (yet!).

okey dokey,
much love,
Kelpie

Bragging on Rowan

2009-01-19T09:59:00.002-05:00

It's warmer today, and overcast. Maybe it will snow!! We've not had snow yet this season, and I miss it. I would like to be able to sled down Pagan Ridge just once this year...

Yesterday, Keenan and I went on a double date with Keith and Claire, and we took Rowan and Arlo! Rowan is quite the social animal. We went to Roma's for dessert (yum, btw), and then Rowan insisted on going to CVS, which in our family stands for "Candy Very Sweet." But CVS was closed, so we went to Walgreen's instead, and waited in the car for Rowan, who came back and gave us all candy!! Wow!

When we got home, Rowan and I went to a farewell party for Ivy and Daniel at Degania. They're flying back to California today, where Ivy's in school. It was good to see them for the short time they were here. Rowan again was quite social, making friends left and right, and then, after a reasonable time, asked to go home. At one point, I saw him across the room pour a glass of wine. Hmmm, I thought. And he took it over to Daniel. Pretty cool kid...

okey dokey, off to the races,
Kelpie

Cold and dreams

2009-01-18T11:04:00.002-05:00

It's been really cold here, although it's warmer today, all the way to freezing! There's ice you can play on at the pond, and the hydrant for the cows is frozen shut. I had to haul a hose from the barn out to the cows to fill up their tanks. It's so cold that the mud is frozen and it's hard for the cows to walk on. I also brought in a load of wood for the woodstove, after making a fire with the last of the wood.

I got up this morning, early, to milk the cows, after a night of not sleeping very well. Just at dawn, I had a dream that Willow, who's in Europe with his family, came to visit me and was crawling on me. I told him his mother would be here in a couple of weeks (which is true). There were also people running in circles around the house, and peeping in the windows. Several more children! When I went to the door, a woman was there, who said her name was Lily. I gave her a big hug, which seems weird to me now, but appropriate at the time.

So now I'm very tired, and I'm going to take a mid-morning nap!
much love,
Kelpie

Trigger?

2009-01-16T09:51:00.002-05:00

It's a mighty cold day on the ol' commune. The water in the dog's dish is frozen solid. I'm not sure where the poor dog is. He's not allowed inside anymore, but he manages to find warm hidey holes anyway.

Keenan is busy making plans to take the boys to the inauguration. The plan is to leave at 3 am, drive to Maryland to a friend's house and park, and then take the hike and bike trail to the Mall. The boys are pretty excited. I'm not going, it just sounds like torture to me.

My friend Mala, who lives upstairs, had an ultrasound yesterday and was told she's carrying another boy. Keenan and I have been thinking up names: Trigger is our current favorite. Mala and Ezra don't agree. The baby's due in mid-March, so we've plenty of time to annoy them with weird and inappropriate names.

Looks like today's a day for the hammock shop. Hope the furnace is stoked. I'm glad I don't have a milk shift today (although I think I do for tomorrow...).
much love,
Kelpie

Eighteen Years

2009-01-15T09:57:00.003-05:00

Today's my 18th Anniversary of joining Twin Oaks. I was shown two rooms: one in the basement of Morningstar, that was tiny and painted dark blue, had one small window and a loft bed, and was claustrophobia inducing. The other was on the second floor of Tupelo and had no furniture and smelled like cigarette smoke. I took that one, despite the smoke, and later was woken up in the middle of the night by yelling. The woman in the next room was having a hard break up with her girlfriend. People at Tupelo ignored me and one woman remarked to me that she was surprised a new member had been put there. Needless to say, I was unsure I'd made the right decision in moving to Twin Oaks.

My main work was construction, doing the dry wall and painting at our new building, Nashoba. I moved in to an open room there after 3 months of living at Tupelo. This was after one member informed me that I probably would not be allowed to move to Nashoba, since I was a new member.

The habit of treating new members poorly has been addressed over and over again, on the O&I and in conversations. We now have a "New Member Liason," whose job is making sure new members have what they need and have their questions answered. I had no "new member liason," although the new members did have a once a week meeting, in which we mostly listened to the fears of one member concerned that she would not pass her 6 month poll. She did pass.

January is also not the best time to join Twin Oaks. It's cold, there's not a lot of work to do, and people are crowded indoors. This January, we have a waiting list, and no open rooms, as we also have a few long term guests. Keenan's put a couple of beds in upstairs Degania, to house guests, and has gotten in trouble for that. The message of "no more people" is loud and clear, and it has not changed since I moved here 18 years ago, even though there's only about a dozen of the same people left from that time. I truly think it is the wintertime blahs that descends upon the commune, and most of us just should hibernate and wait for spring and warm weather.
much love,
Kelpie

Cows and drums

2009-01-14T10:44:00.003-05:00

I'm pretty happy, 'cause Katydid the cow did not kick me this morning! That is a first. She's been very kicky, and I've been developing a dislike for her, and worrying about that, and today, hurray, she swished her tail but she kept her feet (mostly) on the ground! Hurray!

I'm also happy because I figured out how to thaw hoses to the water tanks. It's so cold, the hoses were frozen. Unfortunately, the tanks were empty and the cows were obviously thirsty. I was flummoxed, until I decided to use my brain, and took the hoses inside the barn and ran hot water through them. Voila! Suddenly they work!

The other reason I'm happy is we had a terrific time drumming last night, and achieved drumgasm several times, hurray! If you're ever in the neighborhood, come and drum or dance with us on Tuesday nights at Tupelo, in the living room.

okey dokey artichokey,
much love,
Kelpie

Catching up a bit

2009-01-13T08:57:00.002-05:00

Wow, it's been a while since I posted last -- and in the meantime, the Dakota family computer died and was resurrected. Meanwhile...

We took the boys to see Terry McAuliffe's announcement that he's running for Virginia governor. I've probably misspelled his name, oh well. He was speaking in a restaraunt in Charlottesville, and was pretty convincing. Afterwards, the boys went up and shook his hand, and Rowan got a book autographed. I imagine Keenan and I will vote for him in November... which is a long way away.

I liked that McAuliffe spoke about renewable energy, several times. He wants Viriginia to be in the forefront of development, and so do I, so that's good! I've been enjoying working for EarthStar, a local solar energy company. I'd like to be working for them today, but it's not happening, due to a miscommunication. Oh well, these things happen.

What else has been going on? Katydid the cow is still kicking, and I'm developing a dislike for her, which I'm sure will vanish as soon as she stops kicking. It's just tiresome to milk a cow that continually harasses me, both with her tail and her legs. I imagine she's feeling a lot more harassed. It's getting to the point that when I see her, I don't think, "milk;" I think, "hamburger." Hmmm....

Our labor balances were published, and there is good news: I'm slowly and steadily working my way out of the labor hole, and at the rate I'm going, should be out in a couple of months, hurray!!! I want to not stop, so that I can build up a nice cushion for future vacations.

Okey dokey, January's cold and somewhat boring....
much love,
Kelpie

Magical box brought by friends

2009-01-05T11:01:00.003-05:00

Last night, I dreamed there was a flood in my backyard. The creek was rising as my friends and I looked on, and then decided it was time to head for higher ground. I woke up, it was still early, so I went back to sleep and dreamed I was heading to a ritual with a friend, telling her to dress warmly because our rituals are always outside. As I woke up, I realized I'd forgotten an important box, that I really needed for this ritual. I wondered a bit about why the box was so important, and what that could mean. Then fell back asleep to find that my friends had brought the box to the ritual after all. The ritual was on a barge, on the flooded creek from my first dream.

Now I think the box is the important parts of myself that I tend to forget about. And it's no accident that it was my friends who brought this box to me. I think that's what friends do -- they remind us of the important parts of ourselves that we forget about, and that we need. Certainly that's what my friends do. The best part of my dream was the feeling of relief and gratitude that they'd brought this very important box with them. Oddly enough, the box was a plain cardboard box, filled with white sheets.

So, to my friends who are reading this: Thank you!! You bring me back to myself, and I'm very grateful.
much love,
Kelpie

New Year!

2009-01-02T10:07:00.002-05:00

I'm somewhat embarrassed that I didn't go to the party at Tupelo for New Year's. My friends put a lot of energy into decorating it, and I had been looking forward to going and dancing a lot. First I had a date with Keenan, and, well, Keenan and I kept saying to each other, we need to go, and then we didn't go. Finally I went to sleep at 10:30, and then Rowan woke us up just before midnight, outraged that we didn't stay up. But the four of us sat in the living room and waited for the exact stroke of midnight (give or take a second -- I don't know what our clock did with the extra second tacked on to 2008), and yelled Happy New Year to each other. We opened the door, briefly, to see if there was any noise from outside, but no.

I milked cows both New Year's Eve morning, and New Year's morning, so that also contributed to my less-than-party mood. I had a good time milking, as always. I don't get tired of the routine, and the cows are very good company. I believe they like me, too. They're pretty good about pooing before they get into the barn, and I always say thank you. I talk to them the whole time they're in the barn, too. They don't say much, but they have very expressive eyes and tails.

Poor Katy is still very unhappy with us messing with her udder, and is still kicking. She always swishes her tail first, so you have some warning. Rusty came down and showed me how to tie the belly rope to be more effective. That does seem to help. I'm sure she'll grow out of it.

We have another new calf, too, and so now there are two! And soon there'll be three. That's a lot of milk! The new calf got sick, and so Rusty gave him some medicine, and fed him himself. New Year's Eve morning, the calf wouldn't get up, and, more alarming, wouldn't suck and just let the milk fall out of his mouth when I put the nipple of the bottle in his mouth, poor guy. He was better the next day.

There was an illness at the Tupelo party, too, with one of the guests having a seizure. Fortunately everyone helped and the rescue squad came and the young man was taken to the hospital, where he still is. We're waiting to hear more. It seems like the seizure was not party-related.

All-in-all, the reports are of a very satisfactory party, and I've heard no complaints at all. Sounds like a good new year's was had by all!
much love,
Kelpie

Loads of spiritual allies

2008-12-28T09:12:00.003-05:00

My friend Willow's spending the winter in a small cabin in a muddy field in the Ozarks. She'd like to write a book, and I'd like her to write a book. She needs a desk or a table, and doesn't have one yet, and I sincerely hope that doesn't prevent her from writing her book. Of course, I've got a desk and a table, and I'm not writing a book, so I don't have a leg to stand on, really.

I'm very much hoping that she'll write a book, or something, about how to make a ritual that works, one that counts, that gives the opportunity to each participant to feel empowered. She does this, when she leads rituals, and I've been trying to learn it from her, and I just know it'd be easier if she wrote it all down and I could read it. Easier for me, that is. And maybe easier for her, because then she wouldn't have to suffer fools like me botching up perfectly good rituals. Ok, the opportunity for botching would still be there, but then she could point to the book and say, "do your homework, witch."

I've got something of a reputation here on the farm as some kind of ritual leader, because I go to Spiral Heart's witchcamp every summer, and am something of a ritual addict. I just love standing in a circle, I think that's it. We can all see everyone, and we all have something to contribute and something to discover about ourselves. I really like Reclaiming rituals because of that... audience participation, for lack of a better word. I'm not really into esoteric secrets -- I think I'm too much of a populist for that. I've found that the wisdom of the group, when the group is connected and grounded, is truly greater than any high priest or priestess. I feel like it's the priestess's job to make sure the group is connected and grounded, and beyond that, well, maybe a nudge or two to "go that way," and keep the group on track. As far as the mumble mumble mumble performance, well, that's not so interesting to me. I don't want to be a spectator in a ritual, and my favorite rituals are when there are no spectators. I like it when we're all in the soup together. Being grounded, of course, first.

Anyway, I'm hoping Willow will come up with some words that tell us how to do this, because the default is, watch the priestess. Probably leftover habit from school and church. Blech, I say. Opportunity for mind to take a vacation and go someplace else, out to the woods and fields where there are no spectators, only participants in the great life dance of the world. Spirits and allies of all kinds are just waiting, future dance partners, one after another, why sit still and watch?
okey dokey artichokey,
much love,
Kelpie

Sleep, and cows

2008-12-27T10:19:00.003-05:00

Sleep, sleep, sleep. I love to sleep, and finally, it seems, I am getting enough. It's amazing, my body actually stops hurting when I get enough sleep. I actually am in a better mood when I get enough sleep. In my family, sleep is god. We don't wake up sleeping people unless it's necessary. Sleep and food, those two things are god.

So, my low-drama lifestyle has left me devoid of topics today. I'm sure there's controversy somewhere that I'm ignoring, but I'm not going to go looking for it. Not today. Today's just a good day to relax and enjoy. The only suspense I'm carrying is wondering when Beru and Clover will calve, which should be any day now. I went and checked on them last night (and the two nights before) to see how they were, and they were lying down, very pregnant, and very content, in the winter lot. As I walked up to Beru, she gave a long drawn out quiet (for a cow) groan, which, from a cow, means, "hey, what are you doing out here, I really hope you're not going to make me get up," in a friendly sort of way. I didn't make her get up.

Katy, our heifer who just calved, is healthy, and her calf is as cute as a button. Smaller than a big dog, she weighs about 60 pounds, and is a Dutch Belted, which are smaller than Holsteins, which is what we're more used to. Our herd is slowly becoming more Dutch Belted, because we like smaller cows. They're easier on the pasture and on the pocketbook, and are hardier. You can tell during fly season -- the Dutch Belteds don't have flies living on their milk veins they way Holsteins do. Boy, I really dislike flies.

Katy's still not used to being milked, and kicks when she's annoyed with us cleaning her teats, or if the milking machinery is uncomfortable. She doesn't seem to be doing it with the idea of kicking us -- it's more like an irritated swipe than a kick. Still, it doesn't work for milking, so we have to tie a belly rope around her, just above the udder, to keep her tendons from being as useful for kicking. Some folks have been hobbling her back legs together as well, but I've not done that. I guess I could, if she gets worse. Usually heifers get used to the whole rigamarole, and learn not to kick. Katy's still as sweet tempered as always, and acts more like a pet cow than the others. She's a Dutch Belted herself, and cute as a button, also.
okey dokey,
much love,
Kelpie

Wintertime blues

2008-12-26T09:35:00.003-05:00

Wintertime at Twin Oaks can be dark and cold. We live outside a great deal of the time, and some of our buildings are drafty. I feel fortunate to live in a warm building with plenty of hot water and a kitchen, but this is not true for the courtyard buildings, especially. The community clothes area works hard to provide warm bedding and clothing for all of us, but the budget's not big enough to provide new things for everyone, and how would you do that, with turnover, anyway? Somehow, everyone manages to keep warm anyway. And there's plenty of food, even in the wintertime, thanks to all the work done in August to put away food, and the hard work that goes into slaughtering and butchering a steer. I enjoy a simple lifestyle, but in the winter, it's more of a challenge.

The commune empties out for Christmas, and then there's the return and more. Soon we'll have many many guests, as the curious and the loved come for New Year's. Keenan and I are responsible for making sure all these people have a place to sleep, as the "Room Assigners," and I hope that we've done an adequate job finding spaces and communicating with hosts. I hope there'll not be any collisions. We don't have any more rooms. We're full to bursting.

I like people, but I must admit to some trepidation. Well-meaning crowds are still crowds, and I get overwhelmed. Fortunately I have my own room, as all Oakers do, and I can escape there. In the winter, when we're all together, I especially grateful for my own room.

I'm glad that Spring's coming, in a few months, and that the winter is generally full of goodwill and love. I can tell that Oakers make a special effort to bring joy to the farm during this time. Last night, for instance, we had a gathering of about 30 in TCLR, with a fire and cookies and eggnog, and we read Dylan Thomas's "A Child's Christmas in Wales." A cosy good time was had by all.
Okey dokey artichokey, much love and light and warmth!
Kelpie

Merry merry at Twin Oaks

2008-12-25T13:57:00.002-05:00

Keenan is one of the local incarnations of Santa Claus, and put together a blueberry pancake breakfast at Beechside this morning. There were about 20 people there, eating and making merry, and Rusty brought a ham! The table definitely was groaning: crunchy crust bread, apples, bacon and sausage, three kinds of homemade jam, coffee and two kinds of juice. And Grits! It was a good morning, and afterwards, Keenan and I had to walk around the block to work off some of the calories. Later on, we'll eat some goose that Woody's fixing, up at ZK.

The boys are happily hanging out in Arlo's room, playing new video games. Arlo and Rowan are pretty happy with Santa, too.

Rowan's following in his father's footsteps: he dipped into his allowance and bought a ramen noodles for each Oaker, and put them in everyone's mailboxes, with a tag taped to each saying, "From Rowan." We're pretty proud of him.

Okey dokey, the young lad's wanting the computer, so I must get off,
much love,
Kelpie

Homegrown talent

2008-12-24T09:01:00.003-05:00

I'm having a good time listening to mp3's of Twin Oakers at a concert a month ago. Wow, there's a lot of talent here, and Ezra put some of it on the network, so we can listen at leisure. I especially like a trio that's sprung up, with Ez on bass, Keith on drums, and Claire on keyboard. I look forward to hearing more from them. And Edmund playing... what's that horn called? It's curly and maybe is a sousaphone.

Yesterday I was in such a funk, I forgot about listening to Oakers in the Bijou performing Christmas music. I had to sit in my room with a candle and some incense, examining my thoughts, giving my hurts some attention. I was sad because my friend Willow's gone to Missouri for four months and I won't see her until April. And I had planned on going to Waynesboro yesterday also to work for EarthStar, but it didn't happen because there was no car signed out. I should've signed it out, but forgot, and couldn't figure out how to get a car, once I remembered after dinner on Monday night. The vehicles are assigned at dinner the day before for the next day. Sometimes when I forget, someone else signs it out, but that didn't happen this time, so Kyle and I had to stay home. I like that we have a system for sharing vehicles, and I wish I'd been able to get a car when I needed it. I've lived with this system for a long time, and have wondered how to improve it and haven't thought of anything that would work, besides having more cars.

So here it is, Christmas Eve, and my family didn't go to Kansas because there needs to be milkers on the farm. Oddly enough, I don't feel that needed in the dairy, and am somewhat resentful that I'm here. I am earning labor credits, anyway, I tell myself. But I still miss being home.

I read my friend Paxus' blog, and was disappointed I couldn't get to his latest post, because Blogger tells me that page doesn't exist. I've copied what my Dashboard has below. Wonder where the rest is.

complain, complain, complain
Kelpie

Winning Ugly

posted by memeticist at Everyone but the Devil means well - 19 hours ago

Lucifer tells me that the financial crisis in Russia is getting so bad, that nuclear insiders are now thinking that none of the 10 proposed domestic ractor projects are likely to be built. This is not inf...

Bought something!

2008-12-23T07:10:00.002-05:00

It's the hard truth of life that to make coffee, one must be awake enough to make it. It takes a certain amount of focused attention to grind the beans and boil the water, and often these attributes are scarce, first thing in the morning. The lure of the dark pungent coffee is all that one can go on.

Winter's here, and we're in the magic time between Solstice and New Year's when we celebrate the return of the Light. I'm attending three Yule rituals this year, two of which I'm helping to organize. And I also celebrate Christmas, because it's a wonderful holiday and I love newborns. Somehow at Christmas, it's easier to see the newborn in everyone.

Rowan and I went to town yesterday and picked out a truly wonderful present for Keenan. We felt quite gleeful afterwords, as we ate our lunch at Panda Garden, and looked out the window at the car which held the glorious present in the trunk. I can't tell you what it is, but I can tell you it's something big, and something he'll use often. Rowan had the idea, which I thought was too big at first, and then realized how perfect the present will be, so we got it.

Okey dokey artichokey,
Much love and light,
Kelpie

Cold!!

2008-12-22T09:57:00.002-05:00

We've got crunchy mud here, and it looks like it'll be crunchy for a while. Yesterday, while driving over Afton Mountain, we saw that the fog had frozen on the trees to make a crystal sculpture of dark and light. I saw a little dusting of snow, too, and more on the farther mountaintops, but no snow fell on the Oaks. I like crunchy mud, though, and I think the cows do too. It's easier to walk in than the hoof-sucking squelchy gumbo that forms by the water tanks.

I really like cows. The more I work in the dairy, the more I enjoy it. The crew is great, the cows are great, and the setting is near perfect. I like moving inanimate objects and feeling competent, and then there's the wonderful payoff of the milk. During my initiation preparations, I started offering a glass of milk in thanksgiving, and the practice has suited me and the milk quite well. I've tried to make a list out loud of all that goes into bringing the milk to the glass, in order to properly give my gratitude. I've discovered it's a never ending list. There's the cows, of course, and there's me. There's also the rest of the dairy crew and each person's contribution to the working system, including the past dairy workers. And the land itself, of course, and the water, and the systems that went into making the water come up from the depths so the cows (and me) can drink it. Then there's all the piping and cans and whatnot that keep the milk fresh. And then all that the cows eat: the hay, the grass, the minerals, they've all come from somewhere, constantly and abundantly. Not to mention all the organisms that live in the cow and help digest the food. It's a twice daily miracle, that all that goes through a cow, and then comes out as something me, my family, and my community can drink or eat as cheese, butter, and yogurt. I easily see why cows are holy. Tang, the orange tabby at the barn, feels the same way about the milk as I do. I don't know Tang's theology -- haven't asked.

Come drink our milk whenever you want. There's plenty.
okeydokey artichokey,
Kelpie

The Earth turns, and the sun's coming back

2008-12-21T14:09:00.002-05:00

It's important to maintain perspective, at least that's what I've heard. What I think that means is, learn how to look at something from a bunch of different points of view, and there's so many it can be hard to choose one, but don't get stuck in just one. In fact, it's good to have a couple, in case you lose one. Once I was witness to a short back and forth on whether "stuck" was a feeling or not. I've thought about it (from several different perspectives), and I've come to the conclusion that yes, "stuck" is a feeling, and a symptom of losing perspective.

I'm pretty good at not feeling stuck, but it can creep up on me when I'm thinking about something else. Sometimes I can wind myself up in a string of thoughts and can't get out without help. Gack, I hate that when that happens.

All this to say, I went to Staunton yesterday to spend time with friends, go to a Yule ritual, and gain at least one more perspective. I came home happy and content and ready for a nap. I truly love sleep.
okey dokey artichokey,
Kelpie

Dark, dark, dark, and muddy

2008-12-19T08:00:00.002-05:00

Must be winter time, all I want to do is play in the snow. Now I have a GREAT new coat to play in, and no snow. Mom and Dad sent me my Christmas present early, and it's got a hood, and it's warm, and CLEAN. There's a lot of all sorts of dirt on a farm, and I seem to attract it (it's my magnetic personality). I have several coats, and now they've all gone down one notch, to make room for my new coat at the top. The other coats are now officially "work coats." That means I can wear them when I hang out with the cows. Cows also have magnetic personalities, and they can get very, very, um, magnetic. I'm glad I've got big rubber boots, with inserts, too.

I can also be warm when I go over Afton Mountain to work with pipes and people, learning how to make people spaces warm. It's ironic that working to make warm spaces inside seems to involve a lot of being cold outside. Or even inside, really! Earthstar's workshop can be cold. It's a big ol' concrete warehouse. I can't wait for summer, hee hee.

The building I live in is so warm that Keenan and I have turned off the heat to our wing. We're downstairs, living right on the concrete slab, and there's thick walls (I want to write, "RF4," but is that right?). The kitchen/dining room has loads of windows on the south side, and the heat just pours in. Then we've got our warm bodies, too, heating up the place. Who needs radiators when we've got all that? We turned a handle on the control board and sent all the heat to those who need it, upstairs. So far, no complaints. We've been doing this for years, and can turn the heat back on if and when we need it.
okey dokey artichokey
much love and warmth and light,
Kelpie

On the run?

2008-12-18T10:55:00.002-05:00

I live at a crossroads called Twin Oaks. It's a great place, and the food is terrific. The locals are mostly friendly -- in my time here, only two people have been bitten by copperheads. There's the usual insect pests, but they're mostly just a nuisance. Rot and mold are probably our biggest headaches, along with wiregrass. The people here are great and much the same as the locals.

What bothers me the most is the speed at which the people move, and I mean MOVE. They up and leave with some regularity. We call it turnover, and I call it a nuisance. I live at the crossroads, myself, and I try to be friendly. I hear Americans move a lot, compared to Europeans. Is it all the cars? Is it that some folks started going west and couldn't stop, and now they bounce around? Is it that humans are naturally nomadic?

This holiday season, my family's staying here and not doing the annual grandparent pilgrimage. I like it, and I miss going away, too. I've got the same bounce that the rest of us have, and Mom tells me there's snow in Kansas. I really like snow, now that I live in Virginia, and I'm homesick.

So, here I am, watching the commune empty out, as part of its annual schedule. There'll be a rush back in a week or so, for New Years, and then we'll settle into Winter, truly. Wonder if it'll snow, or if it'll just be mud season for a while.

okeydokey artichokey,
Kelpie

Happy drumming

2008-12-17T08:15:00.002-05:00

I have a friend who's an excellent drummer. He's so good, he's infectious. It's pretty hard to not drum when he's drumming, and it's not just me that's saying so. Our weekly drumming circle, "Drumgasm," seems to be catching on, with more and more drummers showing up. It's also attracted dancers. And you know, I can't really tell the difference between drummers and dancers, it all kind of becomes one big groove. Tupelo living room now rocks weekly on Tuesday evenings around 8pm, going until we drop (which seems to be about 10:30). If we get too big for Tupelo, we'll go outside and then we'll drum with the whole world.

Yesterday it was particularly important for me to drum, as I was depressed after getting a speeding ticket from a Waynesboro city cop. I don't mind contributing financially to worthy institutions, but I don't like highway robbery. I was breaking, which the cop couldn't see because he clocked me going the other direction on a two-way street. I was going 40 in a work zone usually posted at 35, but was 25 for the approaching construction. It was just past the sign, and I was coming off the highway. The cop's a jerk, but no more than the system he's working for. I tried to think of a time when a cop helped me out -- any cop, any cop at all -- and I couldn't. I'm sure there's been a time, I just can't think of it, it's not in my mind anywhere. Maybe when I was little? I try to be nice to them anyway. They're the ones with the guns, after all. Apparantly, there are civilized countries where cops don't have guns.

I was in Waynesboro cleaning and fluxing copper pipe for control boards for solar energy heating systems. Earthstar is the name of the biz, and there's a bunch of Oakers interested in solar heating. The work's pretty fun, and reminded me of my brother who's an artist in CA, and made a sculpture out of pipe many years ago that I admired. It's probably still in my parents' back yard. I wish my family didn't live so far from my brother's, but for a day, while cleaning pipe, I was right there with him in his art class at KU.

Okeydokey artichokey,
much love,
Kelpie

Looking at shiny

2008-12-15T10:48:00.002-05:00

Arrrrgggghhhh. I've done it again, and left Christmas shopping to the last minute, and am grouchy about it. Where's my personal buyer? Somehow the job didn't get filled. Hmm, could it be I actually don't like buying things? I just don't take to it naturally. I'm kind of un-American that way. I wanted to ship some wine to my parents, but noooooo, one can't do that over the internet, if one's parents live in Kansas. Just as well, I couldn't afford it anyway. Thhhhppppt. I'll have to send them some grapes, and they can do the rest.

Ok, got that out of my system.

Keenan wants me to walk around the block with him, and Rowan says, "have a nice walk," and it's time to get away from the little shiny rectangle and go outside where the air's sweet and the sun is shiny.

okey dokey artichokey,
Kelpie

Cold, locks, moon

2008-12-13T11:08:00.003-05:00

It's cold now, it'll be warm later, and the pregnant cows on East Slope will just have to wait for their water until the pipe thaws. I thought about bringing them water in a bucket and my back said, "no." I try to listen to my body, considering that it's been me for some time and will be me for some more time. So far, so good, although I've got back issues. I don't know anyone who doesn't. Young whippersnappers, of course, are still creating their back issues, but they'll catch up, I'm sure. Young whippersnappers usually do. At least I'm not pregnant, nor a cow.

I did a deed yesterday, or a series of deeds, which will result in the rifle cabinet conforming to policy. That darned rifle cabinet has a darned rifle in it (for putting down bovines), and neither Palin nor I care much about it, but other people do, so shuckydarn, I walked around and talked to old farts and now the rifle cabinet can only be opened with a determined person with a crowbar or two other determined people with keys to two locks -- that is, it takes the two of them to unlock it. You'd be surprised how much trouble can be caused by shouting in the dining hall, especially when those who shout can also write O&I papers. But, for all of you who were alarmed by the thought of our butcher having sole access to the rifle, well, now co doesn't. You may sleep in your beds now without fear.

I like sleep. I've been sleeping quite well, despite the moon being brighter than ever, according to my mom and Kyle, who I believe. Some people see a man in the moon. Some people see their future. I'm in the rabbit club, myself. Somehow, don't remember how, I heard there's a rabbit in the moon, maybe jumping over a bush. Sure enough, I can always find the rabbit. I've never really understood the man in the moon.

Okeydokey artichokey,
much love,
Kelpie

I want to drive a new car

2008-12-08T08:36:00.003-05:00

Brrr, it's so cold, the dog dish is frozen halfway through. Wonder what the pond is doing, and my bucket pond, too.

I made a garden, of sorts, for my Reclaiming initiation, and I sunk a bucket in a low spot, and put gold fish in it. Zadek and Luuk really like helping me feed the fish. We get dog food and crush it so the fish can eat it. It's a miniature permaculture altar garden. In fact, most people just call it an altar, instead of a garden. My gardening skills are yet to be developed.

You may be wondering about Eve-the-cow. The dairy crew's giving up on barn training her, and will try again next month. It's a bit odd having cows named after goddesses. We also have Ixchel, Lilith, and Demeter. We used to have a Jersey named Kali, a very long time ago.

We also have a member named Eve. Eve's the official administrative person for our vehicle fleet. It could be that she's the auto manager. She's the one who registers our cars. We have a new car now, a silver Subaru, that needs a name before it can be registered. We had a naming party, but the resulting name was offensive; apparantly 10 people complained, and now what? Who knows? The car is lovely, and sits waiting. The offensive name: "Darth Dingo." I think it could be called "No Name," but that would probably be offensive, too.

Okey dokey,
much love,
Kelpie

2008-12-04T11:11:00.002-05:00

Wow, I had a time of it with Eve-the-cow this morning! Omigosh, a heifer with two things on her mind in this order: 1) Eat Food 2)Do Not Enter The Barn. We're barn-training her, which means, teaching her to walk into the barn. You'd think that would be easy. It often is. With Eve-the-cow, it is not. She consented to walk to the top step of the in-ramp to stick her nose and flare her nostrils in the barn, but to actually set foot in the barn was not something she was willing to do. She was more than happy to back up down the ramp, several times, after being lured to the top, several times, with grain. Ei, ei, ei. A particular sort of cow. A lovely wonderful cow, who someday will walk happily into the barn and eat grain. Maybe next week.

Eve-the-cow aside, I had a great time on my shift, and will go back for more this evening. I'm happy I have FOUR shifts next week! Hurray! Sadly, one of the other milkers had to cancel out of her shifts next week, and the truly great labor assigner gave me her shifts! Hurray! Thanks Elspeth! And I got a stretcher thingie with Kyle too, hurray! Slooowly but surely, I'll get out of the labor mess I'm in, and be a "member in good standing" once again. It seems there's a happy conspiracy to give me work! I feel very fortunate indeed, and can only hope that this sort of thing will spread.

Okey dokey, I've promised the 'puter to my offspring,
much love,
Kelpie

Brrr!

2008-12-03T08:02:00.003-05:00

Home from Florida, after a long and somewhat painful road trip. We seem to be settling back in well. At one point, I had decided not to go on our annual Thanksgiving trip to see Keenan's relatives, due to my negative labor balance, and then I decided I should go after all. I'm glad I made that decision, as I doubt I could have worked as much as I would've liked, with my family gone, but now I really have to buckle down!

It's cold here, in Virginia. There's frost in the morning, and I'm sure that when I milk tomorrow, I'll have to deal with frozen hoses. We fill up the tanks for the cows, and when it's freezing, it's more difficult. I'll probably want to make a fire in the woodstove in the barn, also, to keep me warm. Not like Florida at all!!

Apparently, because our cows are grass fed, the milk that we drink is of higher quality, and just chock full of vitamins. The farm definitely drinks as much as we produce!! These days, it's not as plentiful as in the spring, when there's more grass, but we still have enough to provide two cans of drinking milk each day. The rest is made into cheese.

okey dokey artichokey,
much love,
Kelpie

More food, and more food

2008-11-27T09:15:00.002-05:00

At least the streets are empty! I've been stuffed for days, ever since we got in the car to come south, it seems. I seem to put things in my mouth when I'm nervous -- food, drink, party favors, etc. And lately, food's been at the top of the list. Learning how to relax while keeping focussed is rather difficult, especially when travelling. Any kind of regular schedule I had while at home gets thrown off-kilter. Oh well, that's the way it goes.

The strangest thing about this part of Florida is that I have seen hardly any insects. I know they're out there, they always are, but WHERE? Did they all get sprayed to death? It's too strange, really. I did see some ant hills, and one very lonely mosquito. I feel like I need to just sit in Hammock Park and wait for some bugs to come by. What are the birds eating, I wonder.

"Hammock," by the way, does not refer to the slingable bed that hangs between supports. It's a geographical feature, that means a piece of land that can support hardwood trees. There are some glorious hardwoods in the park, and me and the boys had fun trying to identify them. My inlaws live on a hammock, with most of the trees cut down for houses. I don't know how most of this land is drained -- there seem to be canals and pumps everywhere.

We went to Honeymoon Island yesterday, for the second time, and saw: an armadillo (hurray!),
a nesting pair of bald eagles, lots of ospreys, and a mated pair of great horned owls. Oh yes, and some ants. We were walking quickly, very focussed on finding the eagles, and so I didn't have a chance to look for much else.

okey dokey artichokey,
much love,
Kelpie

2008-11-25T19:55:00.003-05:00

Here I am in Dunedin, FL, at my in-laws'. The boys and I are staying in a cute efficiency down by the harbor, and more relatives are pouring in from the north. It's the annual pilgrimage of the McGehees, and I'm happy to be a part of it. There's a bit of culture shock -- the car culture is not something I'm particularly fond of, and I had a difficult time in the Publix, trying to figure out what my family would want to eat, and where on earth do they keep those things in the store. In some ways, life at Twin Oaks is much more simple, and going away for bit reminds me why I moved to Twin Oaks in the first place.

One of my most favorite activities so far has been walking through Hammock Park, which is an enormous green acreage to the west of downtown. It was good to be outside, exploring the trails and trying to figure out the different plants. Arlo picked a handful of purple-red berries, in the hopes of finding out what they are. We'd seen a picture of them at the nature center, at Honeymoon Island State Park.

Okey dokey, more later,
much love,
Kelpie

Made It! And Over!!

2008-11-22T07:02:00.002-05:00

Hurray! I counted up my labor sheet yesterday, and I was over quota by... well, I made 49 lovely labor credits. And I turned my sheet in before the deadline, so I'll get an extra 2.5 for that. I'm glad I made such a lovely sum before going on a long trip where labor credits are few and hard to come by. The disadvantages of the amazing Twin Oaks labor system sometimes overwhelms the advantages. And vice versa, I am sure.

Before I started my labor credit endeavor, I was pretty unhappy about it, which made things worse. I loafed, frankly, and wallowed, and sometimes I cried. I got lots of encouragement and hugs and everyone seemed to love me more than I thought I deserved. Interesting, that, eh? The people of Twin Oaks are pretty amazing. I'm lucky in a variety of ways, and a lot of them seem to be the direct result of living with terrific people. A lot of terrific people. Sometimes there are so many terrific people, I get, well, not terrified, but overwhelmed. I haven't entirely discovered a pattern. It seems, at least, that I've broken out of the wallowing.

We're off, the nuclear family in which I am called "Mom." We're off to Florida to visit relatives, and we'll be home sometime, in a week or so. I doubt I'll have access to this blog, so until then, be well.
much love,
Kelpie

Cow Talk

2008-11-21T10:29:00.003-05:00

Milked a buncha cows this morning. Five of them: Butternut, Wendy, Nygelia, Chicory, and Andromeda. And I didn't milk three heifers: Delta, Demeter, and Lilith. Together, they're a herd. Herda cows. Actually, they're mostly Holstein, and some Dutch Belted thrown in there, and Bnut has some Jersey. I'll milk two of them this evening: Bnut and Andromeda. I like cows.

I went out after my milking and did a head count of the pregnant-or-waiting cow herd (known to us as the "Preggie Herd"), on the East Slope pasture. I found five of them down on the far paddock, and three of them on the hay feeder. Ok, they weren't really on the hay feeder; they were beside the hay feeder, and sometimes they stick their heads in the hay feeder. I've never actually seen a cow on a hay feeder, although I've seen a calf in a hay feeder. It's really hard to get a calf out of a hay feeder. I try not to do it.

I'm glad it's a fairly cold morning, because there are no flies. I really don't like flies. I know, I know, not all flies are the same, and there are helpful, useful flies, but frankly, I don't know them. Ok, there's those little flies that pollinate figs. I like figs. Oops, those are wasps. I like wasps. Back in the day, when I was studying insects, I never could get over my prejudice against flies, but I did manage to eat a bunch of wasp larvae (sauteed in oil, lightly spiced) and so developed a fondness for them. All wasps, pretty much. But no flies. I will never eat flies. Flies kind of bug me.

Anyway, Summer and the baby seem to be happy and healthy and they're both female, and the smaller one has a lot of hair! Cute as a button, and born about 7:15 yesterday evening. Blessed be. We're all pretty happy.
much love,
Kelpie

Waiting for a baby

2008-11-20T16:11:00.002-05:00

Surely this baby will be born soon, they've been working at it for quite a while now. I'm glad I'm done having my babies!! Summer's been working hard for quite some time now, and the rest of us are all eagerly waiting. Wonder what the baby will be like.

I can't remember how many labor credits I earned today... um, quick guess says... four and a half or five, so far. It's late afternoon, and the sun's making my favorite kind of light, reddish and orangish. I'm happy with our atmosphere, although I understand it used to be different, and maybe back in the day, the light would be bluer? Don't know.

Summer's baby will be the... hmmm... fifth baby born in this building since it was built. Five, and the building's about as old as Rowan, who's 12. Every now and then someone comes down and tells us what the latest news is, and it's hard to sit at the computer. I want to go and do something useful. When Adrian was being born, Simone and I were listening downstairs and twiddling our thumbs, and we finally decided to go pick flowers. We came back with a lovely bunch and gave them to the baby, who'd been born while we were gone. It doesn't take long to pick flowers when you have two people -- that was a very fast and efficient birth!
Okey dokey artichokey, much love,
Kelpie

Working is working!

2008-11-19T08:20:00.002-05:00

Hurray! I seem to be changing my lazy butt habits fairly easily. That gives me hope for the future. I'm off to Florida for our annual pilgrimage, and I'll come back and get that contract and stick to it, by golly. There'll be no public lynching for Kelpie, no sirree. I hate that when that happens.

To be honest, it never has happened. I've certainly been the object of public scrutiny before, and it's not pleasant, but I've gotten more used to it over the years. When I first got to Twin Oaks, it seemed like everyone was looking at me, and they were!! And it's happened every now and then that I get a little more attention than I feel comfortable with. Mostly, though, I move through the world with ease and grace. Lucky me!

What I really hate is watching a public lynching. I'm not so in tune with the people world around me, and sometimes it happens without me being able to head it off in any way, and sometimes I participate in the hanging.

I want to make it clear here that we do not murder people at Twin Oaks, (sometimes my metaphors are taken literally), but we do banish folks occasionally, and sometimes not so gracefully. I always hope that the person finds healing when that happens. Living at Twin Oaks can be very painful, and sometimes the pain gets to be so big it envelops us, and the person must leave. We call it "drama," here, and I prefer to keep my drama corralled. I'm sure drama happens in every community.
much love,
Kelpie

Sleep is a beautiful thing

2008-11-18T07:08:00.002-05:00

I did make quota yesterday, hurray! And drummed, too. All on four hours of sleep the night before, after a wicked bout of insomnia. Then slept for another four hours, after drumming, and woke up early. I've been up for hours, and it's only 7:13am. I did get a little cleaning done, and my daily spiritual practice (which, if you were wondering, does not require a group).

So, one of my high pressure jobs is being on the Membership Team, of Twin Oaks, which is basically yet another committee (the whole place is run by committees, it's amazing). As part of our process of defining membership, (in explicit detail, if necessary), we have a long interview. And as part of that long interview, there is a long list of questions. And somewhere in the middle of that long list of questions, is the question, "Do you have a spiritual practice that requires a group?"

I always think of that question as the anti-guru security question. So, all you guru-wannabes: the correct answer to that question is, "No." In the long, long years of my time serving on the illustrious Community Membership Team, there has never ever been anyone who has said, "Yes." At this point, I sort of wish someone would say, "Yes."

And, glory be, I actually saw both of my children yesterday, as well as Keenan. It was a good day. And hey it snowed a tiny bit in the night! Like powdered sugar on brownies (ok, green brownies, with leaves under the sugar).
much love,
Kelpie

Pity me or feel my pain

2008-11-17T02:32:00.002-05:00

Ok, it's 2:33 in the morning, and I can't sleep. I've tried. I'll try again. I don't give up on something like sleep.

I feel ill. My stomach is queasy and my head hurts, and I just want to be asleep. I love sleep.

I have to be at the dairy barn to milk cows in five hours, after which I will take care of two children along with a new member, Mushroom. I realize I can ask Mushroom to take care of Kharma and Luuk by herself, and she'll do it, she's a very capable young woman. And I may not be the most fun to hang out with tomorrow, after milking, depending on how much sleep I get.

I did make quota yesterday. I did. Hurray for me. I didn't really see my family much, but I did work. Do I get a gold star?

Ok, I shall make another valient attempt.
much love,
Kelpie

Learning to Manage Myself

2008-11-16T07:30:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was a hard day. I was sick most of the day, fighting off a migraine, which finally left while I was in a meeting in the late afternoon, as a front went through and the barometric pressure gave me a break. I had to find someone to do my K-II (after lunch clean up at the dining hall), which was easy, except on my pride.

I do not like being sick one bit, and the migraine is like a scary beast which reaches its hands out of the sky and squeezes my head and stomach. It becomes difficult to do anything but pay attention to it! For a person who struggles with focus, it's a good teacher, but can be a fierce one. I was almost giddy when it went away, (and definitely shaky), and so grateful. I had been blaming the illness on a cheap beer I had the night before, because it had the same symptoms as a hangover, and I felt life was unfair. I'd only had one cheap beer! In retrospect, I was vulnerable because I was dehydrated, and then the Barometric Pressure Monster (BPM) had a chance to whop me, so it did.

I still love the movie "Princess Mononoke," which I treated myself to watching, again, this time in English. There's a scene at the end, where the Forest God, or Deer God, is searching for its head, and is like a large heavy storm cloud over the forest, with tornado arms reaching down. It's a very powerful image for someone who still occasionally dreams about tornadoes. I've felt that power, intimately, in my core. And am not convinced that the BPM isn't a symptom, somehow, of the Deer God who's lost his head. But really, it's me who has to pay attention to my own head.

much love,
Kelpie

Feeling sorry for myself

2008-11-14T07:13:00.003-05:00

I've tried to figure out just how long I would be on a labor contract. By policy, I would need to make over 15 extra labor credits per month, which would mean my own labor quota would be about 4 hours more than normal. In theory, that should not be difficult, and if I get a pattern going, I can do much better than that. But at minimum, I believe I'll be on a contract for 13 months. A little over a year and a day.

I can live with that. What I might not be able to live with is the stipulation that I must not be in the labor hole for two months -- it's gotta be two consecutive months, and I'll find out for sure. That's bothering me, although it probably won't be a big deal. I need to go to Witchcamp!!! And also there'll be other sorts of things during the year, too.

I'll need to change various habits: the habit of getting up late, and getting out late. I'll need to jump out of bed at 7, for example (like I did today), and not spend so much time socializing with folks in the morning. I'll miss that, as I love my housemates, one of which is three years old and cute as a button even when he's being wretched.

I'll need to cut my naps short, or not take them. And I'll need to work in the evenings, too.

And, sob, I'll probably need to cut back on other non-labor creditable activities, like, ack, pagan ritual. I wonder how I'll do that -- I sort of feel obligated on a certain level to priestess these things. Maybe I'll have to just limit myself to priestessing at Twin Oaks (where I can take labor credits under "holiday.") and the occasional rare instance off the farm. Waaa. That will be difficult.

And, another sob, I'll have to figure out how to curtail my other non-labor creditable activities which are just as fun and important... grrr. I'm not a partier in a big way, but the little I do is important. And I absolutely refuse to give up drumming. I'll figure something out.

If I become a grouch during the time of my labor contract, well, someone provide sympathy at least, so it's not a permanent condition. I've seen people when they're changing their habits, and they are often not cheery about it. At least I don't smoke. Things could be oh so much worse.

Given a choice, I'd rather become grouchy than boring. Consider this fair warning. I'll do my best to be entertaining, but I realize this post and yesterdays are not as funny. I'll get my groove on again, I promise. Probably when the sun comes out again. It's been rainy and dark, and it's a truly dedicated person who can be entertaining when it's rainy and dark.
much love,
Kelpie

Insecurities and Musings

2008-11-13T17:38:00.003-05:00

Today is gray and raining. And I spent a very minimal amount of time in the hammock shop, contributing both to the hammocks quota for the community, and to my own labor balance. I did intend to go again after lunch, and instead slept for three hours, and spent time with my family and online. So, it's another day of digging the hole.

I know how to make hammocks. I'm really good at it, actually. And I enjoy it, as well. It can be physically tiring, and I've made so many in a row that I started to have carpal tunnel symptoms, but for the most part, I've found it to be pleasant work. So why I choose to spend an afternoon in other pursuits is a good question, and one I'll need to answer if I'm going to change my habits.

I love sleep.

So, sleep has been good to me. Unfortunately, it doesn't get me labor credits.

In the Twin Oaks labor system, we have scheduled work and unscheduled work. Missing a work shift is a rarity for me, as I know people are counting on me. But my shifts don't add up to quota, and I'm expected to find work to fill in the gaps. Somehow, I don't. That's the main thing that has to change, I think. Sometimes I wish I had a 9 to 5 job, but I'm sure there would be other problems, if that were the case.

No, what I need is an attitude change, and a schedule that doesn't have big blanks in it.
much love,
Kelpie

How DID I get into this mess?

2008-11-12T10:15:00.002-05:00

Sigh. I can come up with all sorts of reasons, but of course, the basic reason is, I went away too much and I don't work enough when I'm here. But that's not so interesting, is it, so here's a story:

Two summers ago, I quit my job, such as it was. Twin Oakers are a slippery bunch, and most folks have several jobs, and no one has a "9 to 5." We work mostly in teams, which is fun. But sometimes it doesn't work, of course, and my team just went kaput in the summer of '07. I was the manager of the hammocks office, and my job description just got longer and longer and longer, and my team up and left for more pleasant atmospheres. The clincher was when four (if memory serves me) office workers quit in the same week. Not my fault (heh). They left the community. It was the summer of our discontent.

There was a huge controversy, surrounding the membership of a young person, and the waves of negativity grew and grew until they swamped the already leaky boat of the hammocks office, and boy howdy, I went down. My friend Mala said, "my friend Kristen is much more important than this job," and I cried and quit.

In a responsible as possible way, of course. I trained people to carry on, and got out of the chaos and left it to folks with more nerves of steel than I had.

But that left me with half as much work. I'd worked in that office since I moved here (I've lived here since '91), and didn't have much else going on. It's actually to my credit, and the wondrous labor system's credit, that it's taken a year and a half for me to run out of jobs. It's time, really, to find a new niche.

But how to do that when I'm 44? At a hippie commune where most of the work is physical, and most of the people are in their twenties? I feel a bit... hmmm... out of place. And I'm not the spring chicken I used to be, although I still can cluck and lay an egg every so often.

How big's my problem? Weeeel now. Funny you should ask. Um. Embarrassingly big. Um, I'm looking at a hole about 200 hours deep. Yowza. Not there yet, but I'm heading there. What you are witnessing now is the anxiety of a person falling out of an airplane who suddenly sees the ground rushing up.

Sooo... something'll happen. Wonder what it will be. Hence the blog -- if life is painful, take the pain and do something useful with it. At the very least, be entertaining, even if it's only to yourself.
much love,
Kelpie

In the Labor Hole

2008-11-11T13:16:00.002-05:00

It's kind of scary for me to write about, which is why I'm writing about it. I'm in the labor hole, and will go further in before heading out. The "labor hole" is how many labor credits I owe to Twin Oaks. Each week, we're "charged" whatever the labor quota is (this week it's 44.8 hours), and each week the number of hours of work we did is entered into our balance. Whoops, I'm way behind, and am planning on making a contract in December with the labor manager, who's a housemate and friend of mine.

It's scary, not in a very big way -- no phone calls or harrassments, and it doesn't affect my credit rating! The terms of the labor contract is set by policy. I must work an extra 15 hours per month, in labor creditable areas, until I'm out of the hole. If I violate this policy, by not meeting it for two months (not sure if those have to be consecutive or not), there's a list of consequences, the most painful of which is a non-binding membership poll. That means everybody at Twin Oaks has the opportunity in the form of a ballot, to say, "accept," "reject" or "feedback." I'm not entirely sure what the choices are, because it's so rarely ever used.

I hate the idea of everyone in the community having this opportunity, although it would be interesting to find out what people would think, and it would be better than paranoid wondering (which I indulge in all too frequently).

So, I gotta find some work and some motivation. The latter is more important (hence the whole policy). Fortunately my buddy Keith is needing help on a project of his, involving solar panels. I have no experience at all, although I do know the names and uses of some basic tools... Can an old dog learn new tricks? This one has to.

How did I get in this fix? I'll let that be tomorrow's exciting installment.
much love,
Kelpie

First entry!

2008-11-11T07:52:00.000-05:00

Well, I've been considering starting a blog for years, and maybe this is it! I like the idea, and I feel the need to start a(nother) journal, and the potential for an audience might be enough motivation to keep me going! Only one way to find out!

The first hurdle, really, was coming up with a name. I'm pretty good at coming up with names, so this one "Living Out Loud," popped into my head without much ado. Again, I like the idea, and am not sure of how committed I am to baring my soul online, but I've found it's a good way to talk to myself, and if baring my soul to others is the only way I can do so for myself, well, so be it. And thank you for reading! I'll try to not be boring.

With that promise, I find that I need to close.
much love,
Kelpie